Whenever I’m with him, the world goes away. I forget about my problems, I forget about what people say, I forget about how much I hate myself.
It’s just me and him, and nothing else matters.
I’ve actually cried after spending a day with him and he had to leave. We’ve spent hours throughout our relationship just saying goodbye. It’s like having a piece of your heart ripped out. Goodbyes should not be so painful.
Every time I seriously think about us ever breaking up or not being able to see him anymore, I start to cry. I am not even exaggerating. And I know he has similar feelings; Robby doesn’t cry for just anything.
Maybe I’m just silly sometimes. “Oh, I’ll spend the rest of my life with him, definitely.” I’m not disillusioned enough to think that there is no way I’ll ever have someone else.
But I can so easily see myself spending the rest of my life with him. It wouldn’t be a silly little fairy tale, but it could work so well. He’d take care of me, and maybe I could help take care of him if he’d let me.
He has so much power over me. He makes me happy, he makes me cry. He’s slowly wormed his way into being my everything, and I had no control.
Maybe that’s why it makes me so upset when I don’t feel like I’m first to him. I’m a human; I get jealous. When I come to him to take a little bit of his time once in a blue moon, I don’t want to see him being like he is with me with another girl. I want to think that I’m the only one who can push his buttons, talk right after him, link arms with him; Isn’t that the kind of thing that you keep for your special someone?
I hug all the time, hand hold, all of that stuff. But I only let Robby cuddle with me. I only let him kiss me. I only let him tease me and make me mad. I only let him get me to the point where my voice gets high pitched because I’m frazzled.
but i don’t want to be jealous. he’s not doing it consciously. i don’t think she is either. and i don’t want oto be mad at it. i don’t i don’t i don’t. But I still am.
oh, i’d love him even if he did want to go after someone else. but he doesn’t.
Can you believe we’ve been dating almost ten months know? oh, my. they’ve been such a happy ten months.